Pathetic

02:48I don't have any friends. Or I have one friend but he lives far away so I don't get to see him that often.That's why I've decided to get a cat, as soon as I can afford it after the move into a bigger apartment.But then it hit me. I'm getting a cat because I feel lonely most of the time. It's like, I'm climbing the walls here sometimes. Will a cat fix that? Well of course I hope so, but maybe deep down inside it's human companion I'm longing for. Which is kinda hard to admit because I've always thought of myself as a loner, who don't need humans. Animals, yes, but not humans.People... I tend to let them in to a certain degree, but then, after that I don't really know what to do. How to let them in further. I don't know what it is that I am afraid of, or maybe I just don't know how to play the game.But it's like, the core of my being is so fragile that I can't dare to let someone in 'cause maybe I'd get hurt, or even totally crushed. It's just a survival instinct.I shouldn't write blogs this late... They just end up pathetic.//Syntium